I'm stronger than I ever knew.

A mighty wind blew night and day
It stole the oak tree's leaves away,
Then snapped its boughs and pulled its bark
Until the oak was tired and stark.
But still the oak tree held its ground
While other trees fell all around.
The weary wind gave up and spoke,
"How can you still be standing, Oak?"
The oak tree said, "I know that you
Can break each branch of mine in two
Carry every leaf away,
Shake my limbs, and make me sway.
But I have roots stretched in the earth,
Growing stronger since my birth.
You'll never touch them, for you see,
They are the deepest part of me.
Until today, I wasn't sure
Of how much I could endure
But now I've found, with thanks to you,

I'm stronger than I ever knew.

Transition - The truth has set me free.

Since my last post, a tremendous amount of change has ripped through my life. This last year's been a crazy ride and while it's been terribly confusing for me up until now, I'm relieved that it's over. These last two months have brought a great amount of clarity as a result of a couple more painful trials. I am finally realizing that the pain I've felt has been necessary for me to grow and learn.

Certain truths have come to the surface to show themselves and being a big picture person, I took a step back and tried to look at everything from the outside. The result was the realization that these most recent falls were opportunities for me. My choice was either to let everything further defeat me or to use the situations as opportunities to move forward. It became clear that the truth really did set me free. I never understood that saying until the moment when I learned the truth. I was no longer burdened and stifled with confusion and doubt. I felt like I was being given validation and a new beginning without the negativity. I realized that I had been given an opportunity to remove myself from that negativity that had been plaguing me. I took that leap.

Now I'm looking forward. Obviously in the forefront of my mind is the mountain of hurt I have to come to terms with. While I'm confident I've removed myself from the path of additional hurt, I still have to get over this mountain. This is something I'm working through on a daily basis, but with a newfound appreciation and motivation. I've been surrounding myself with loved ones who have proven to be on my team and appreciate me. I've been focusing on goals, training for a half marathon and taking online classes. The most significant factor in my journey forward is my fast-coming move to San Diego. I'm doing something for myself and making decision based solely on what I want. I am moving toward a fresh start with no strings attached. I'm entering the biggest transition I've faced and I'm entering it feeling completely free. I'm exercising my power to choose and I choose freedom.

I obviously wish I could just say what I mean because it's really hard to explain how I feel without explaining exactly why. It's hard to say what I have to say without actually saying it, so sorry if this is vague and confusing.