Destiny

des-ti-ny (noun): a predetermined course of events often held to an irresistible power or agency

If that's the definition of the word, how is it that we can have the maximum power to shape our own destiny? If a course of events is predetermined, how can we have any control?

I never really understood that theory that assumes 'everything happens for a reason' or 'what is meant to be will be'. In my dreamworld, I'd really like to believe that those things are true, but part of me feels like that's a cop out that people like to flock to when they can't face disappointment. I wonder what I need to be so strong for if so many of my experiences are supposed to make me stronger. Should I be scared that I'll need that strength for something even bigger to come? I don't like the sound of that.

Anyway...My fear is that if we can shape our own destiny, a decision I make will steer me away from my destiny or take me on a detour of wasted time. Then again, those who believe that everything happens for a reason would say that the detour was all part of the plan. It was a path that led me to my destiny or something that needed to happen in order to shape me into who I am supposed to be, whoever that is. Maybe all of this is easier for those who are religious because somehow they were granted the ability to have faith in something they'll never really understand.

I wonder if this life right now is my destiny. Ok I'm only in my mid-twenties, so what could I really know about my destiny at this point right? I'd really like to know when the rest of my life will start though. I wonder if my destiny is that the rest of my life isn't supposed to work that way. My life's not supposed to start in the typical sense, but may have many starts and finishes before my dying day. Some people live in the same place, marry, have children, and live in the same house doing the same job for most of their lives. Maybe my life's not supposed to work that way or at least that's how it's starting to look. Maybe my life's a collection of short stories or mini sagas rather than a novel. If that's my destiny, maybe I shouldn't feel as disappointed as I do, but should just suck it up and go with it. I obviously can't control anything external, so I may just want to focus my thoughts on this destiny theory. If it really is irresistible, I probably shouldn't waste the energy trying to fight back anyway.

That brings me back to my first question. How can we shape our own destiny? Our choice of paths to take through life seem to be just that: our choices. If they're determined by us, what does that have to do with destiny? Apparently, I'm confused and very intrigued. I'll just hope this destiny theory is true and that things really do happen for a reason and that what is meant to be will, in fact, be. If that's true, obviously following your heart is the best life strategy. If destiny's predetermined, it must be driven by emotion. There must be a feeling you get that triggers a decision. If you fight the feeling, I would think you fight your destiny. Maybe that's why people often end up with the wrong people; they are stubborn. So our power to shape our destiny might just be granted by the emotion we can never really understand, but should just act on.

Maybe the moral of the destiny story is to follow your heart. Emotion has to be life's way of telling us something. It's something we can't explain, so it must be the answer. Our destiny is given to us through emotion and our power to shape our destiny lies in our power to make decisions based on the emotion we feel. Now if only following your heart were that easy...

Do you like how I just blogged my way to my answer?

Life's Treasures

"More than a few fairy tales feature the theme of characters who accidentally find a treasure. They’re not searching for treasure, don’t feel worthy of it, and aren’t fully prepared for it. They may initially not even know what they’re looking at, and see it as preposterous or abnormal or disquieting. Who could blame them if they ran away from the treasure? In order to recognize and claim it, they might have to shed a number of their assumptions about the way the world works. And they might have to clear up a discrepancy between their unconscious longings and their conscious intentions."

Being someone driven by emotions and the heart, I immediately interpret the treasure as people and love. I interpret that treasure as people with something special to give us which should be, as a result, treasured. It seems that, just as the above states, that treasure comes along when we aren't searching for it. We may have plans of our own and a vision of how we'll live our lives. We may feel defeated in a lot of ways...our experiences having left us feeling jaded and pessimistic. Regardless, it seems that little gems get placed in our paths and those gems represent something of great value.

These treasures, big or small, change our perception of life. If we can shed our assumptions and swallow our pride, we can embrace the gems that offer something special. Just as the above states, there are often discrepancies between our unconscious longings and our conscious intentions. One of my assumptions about how the world works is that we hide behind these conscious intentions too often. We develop some idea of how to live that will hopefully protect us and serve our selfish purposes. Those conscious intentions are set into place ignoring the subconscious longings we know are deep inside of us. Some of us are scared of those longings because they involve risk that could bring hurt. Unfortunately, many of us are scared of those longings not because of a fear of hurt, but the opinions of other people. However, in order to claim the treasures life drops around us, we have to shed those assumptions of how the world works and explore our subconscious longings.

Treasures can teach us. They can teach us about ourselves and about our lives. They can teach us about humanity as well as humility. That may be their contribution to our journeys. They can also provide something even greater and long-lasting. They may be a treasure to keep close to our hearts throughout our journeys. What I do know is that we'll never know their worth if we don't let our guards down to claim the treasures as our own. We may pass by our most valuable discoveries.

"Never take a person for granted. Hold every person close to your heart because you might wake up one day and realize that you've lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones."