Someone's beautiful girl...

I wish I could do better by you,

'cause that's what you deserve.

You sacrifice so much of your life,

in order for this to work.

While I'm off chasing my own dreams,

sailing around the world,

Please know that I'm yours to keep,

my beautiful girl.

And when you cry a piece of my heart dies,

knowing that I may have been the cause.

If you were to leave, fulfill someone elses dreams,

I think I might totally be lost.

But you don't ask for no diamond rings,

no delicate string of pearls.

That's why I wrote this song to sing,

my beautiful girl.

Devotion

Hey y'all (if there are any of you)! I've been a busy little worker bee lately and when I haven't been working, I've been reading a lot of articles. I've put my beloved memoirs down for a while to explore the more concise non-fictional world of magazine articles. While staying faithful to Elle and Harper's Bazaar and continuing to absorb everything I can from Runner's World, I've ventured into Newsweek and Psychology Today. I really wish the Borders would sell New York Magazine too, but I guess that can remain a special travel treat. Back to the subject at hand. I'm going to share some intriguing points made in this article in March's Harper's Bazaar. Now that I'm so fascinated with some of the articles I read, I'll be sharing them a lot!

"The New Marital Boundaries"

It's hard being a "traditional" or "old fashioned" woman in the world today. Besides, what does "old fashioned" mean now that those lines have been blurred over so many decades? I tend to consider myself more of a "traditional" girl, showing my affection through acts of nurturing and wanting to be treated with an enormous amount of respect as a lady, feeling protected and cared for. In today's world where both men and women are career-focused, iPhone-wielding, constantly-connected, socially-networked individuals, the sense of true relationship togetherness is often overlooked.

I venture to say that each person's idea of a relationship is a fair bit different from the next in these more modern times. Each couple's relationship is not to be compared to another because, after all, they aren't comparable. What works for some, doesn't work for others. I can slice it and dice it many different ways, but the fact is that no two people or couples are alike. That being said, I think there are some basic ground rules in most relationships that establish a sense of safety.

This is where I think communication and honesty come in. I believe that if two people are open and honest with each other about everything and anything, including all of the mundane things that go on during the average day, they breed an atmosphere of comfort. I'm not saying anyone should have to give an itinerary of their day, but if a person were to talk about their interactions without being asked how their day went, there's an openness that builds trust from the start.

Maybe I'm getting off point here, but the article is about the "new" marital boundaries. For example, one woman expressed how her content husband has been known to flirt, but because he expresses a deep devotion to their marriage, she never gets jealous. It touches on how it's possible to remain committed while accepting the "flatlining of passion and romance" that long-time marriages face and how that commitment remains strong because of a mutual devotion.

The author acknowledges that the urge to control a spouse as well as the urge to cheat stems from a lack of closeness in the relationship. "Feeling insecure and threatened by another woman--or, conversely, feeling drawn toward another man beyond the enjoyable innocent fantasy--indicates that something is amiss in the union itself, something that needs addressing; the other person is often not the point."

"If there's a rift in the marriage--if someone feels neglected, frustrated, tempted by others, or unsure--then trouble can easily arise."
The point that makes the clearest sense to me: "Even secure, nonpossessive spouses want primacy with each other." There's a closeness and a bond that can't be divided when each spouse knows they're #1. In those relationships, opposite-sex friendships aren't threatening and don't result in resentment. A sense of devotion goes a long way in my eyes, mind, and heart.

She ends with..."It gives me immense pleasure to be trustworthy, faithful, and true, to have the kind of romantic bond that inspires this.

I've never felt more boring or been happier."

I really enjoyed this article because I believe in the theory. She admitted to being guilty of bad behavior in her past relationships, but has a renewed sense of what it means to truly be together. In time and all else, when a person's the priority of another, there's safety and trust...requited devotion.

"Mom tells us to marry men who are proud of us. I think I want to marry a man who, after the lights are turned off, can still keep me up for hours talking and laughing. We used to do that when we were kids, and we’d prop the phones on our pillows and talk and talk till the sky turned dawn gray. Talk about nothing and name our children and tell the old stories, gossip, laughing, lying next to each other. Roll over and raise our arms and count fingers silhouetted against the light from the street lamp that shines through the window. Fall asleep mid-sentence, something sweet on our lips. These are always the nights that I fall completely in love."

from this cute blog

I'll feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe.

I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep.

I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day and something reminds you, you wish you had stayed.

We can plan for a change in weather and time. I never planned on you changing your mind.

I'll feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe...

have mercy on my heart

Deep Breaths

"Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours"

In recognition of the holiday that celebrates love and compassion, the dreamer in my heart wants to share some beautiful expressions of love and compassion. Rather than believing that Valentine's Day is a day for couples to say "I love you" in a commercial way, I feel that it's a day for all to recognize and be aware of love as the most powerful feeling there is. Recognize the emotions related to affection, attachment, interpersonal attraction, and a deep feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Be aware of romantic love as well as platonic and familial love.

"There is no remedy for love but to love more." Henry David Thoreau

I am a deep and emotional thinker who dreams of great love. Naturally, I fear the pain of repeated heartbreak, but I do believe in love at all costs even if the cost is the pain required to learn and gain strength. I don't believe in a life without the desire to feel and express love. We can't control our emotions and the things life brings our way. Choosing not to embrace those emotions and gifts is a disservice to ourselves and others. Life is about relationships and interaction. Don't let fear keep you from loving. Be free to love. Give in to love.

Coldplay "Parachutes"

In a haze, a stormy haze

I'll be 'round, I'll be loving you always

Always

Here I am and I'll take my time

Here I am and I'll wait in line

Always, always

Napoleon Bonaparte to Josephine De Beauharnais - Paris - December 1795:

I wake filled with thoughts of you. Your portrait and the intoxicating evening which we spent yesterday have left my senses in turmoil.

Sweet incomparable Josephine, what a strange effect you have on my heart!
Are you angry?
Do I see you looking sad? Are you worried? ...
My soul aches with sorrow, and there can be no rest for your lover; but is there still more in store for me when, yielding to the profound feelings which overwhelm me, I draw from your lips, from your heart a love which consumes me with fire? Ah! it was last night that I fully realized how false an image of you your portrait gives!

You are leaving at noon; I shall see you in three hours. Until then, mio dolce amor, a thousand kisses; but give me none in return, for they set my blood on fire.
Bonaparte

Neil Young "Like A Hurricane"

You are like a hurricane

There's a calm in your eye

And I'm getting blown away

To somewhere safer

Where the feeling stays

I want to love you

but I'm getting blown away.

I am just a dreamer

but you are just a dream.

Mark Twain to his future wife, Olivia Langdon - May 12, 1869:

Out of the depths of my happy heart wells a great tide of love and prayer for this priceless treasure that is confided to my life-long keeping.

You cannot see its intangible waves as they flow towards you, darling, but in these lines you will hear, as it were, the distant beating of the surf.

Persian icon of passion and love over seven centuries ago, wrote:

The children of Adam are limbs of one body

Having been created of one essence.

When the calamity of time afflicts one limb

The other limbs cannot remain at rest.

If you have no sympathy for the troubles of others

You are not worthy to be called by the name of "man."

"Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own"

Robert A. Heinlein

John Keats to Fanny Brawne - March 1820:

I cannot exist without you - I am forgetful of every thing but seeing you again - my life seems to stop there - I see no further. You have absorb'd me. I have a sensation at the present moment as though I were dissolving

....I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for religion - I have shudder'd at it - I shudder no more - I could bemartyr'd for my religion - love is my religion - I could die for that - I could die for you. My creed is love and you are its only tenet - you have ravish'd me away by a power I cannot resist.

Psychologist Robert Sternberg's trianglular theory of love argues three components: intimacy, commitment, and passion. Intimacy is the sharing of confidences and details of personal lives and is shown in friendships and romantic love. Commitment is the expectation that the relationship is permanet. Passion and sexual attraction are shown in romantic love as well as infatuation.

Ronald Reagan to Nancy Reagan - Aboard Air Force One - March 4, 1983:

Dear First Lady

I know tradition has it that on this morning I place cards Happy Anniversary cards on your breakfast tray. But things are somewhat mixed up. I substituted a gift & delivered it a few weeks ago.

Still this is the day, the day that marks 31 years of such happiness as comes to few men. I told you once that it was like an adolescent's dream of what marriage should be like. That hasn't changed.

You know I love the ranch but these last two days made it plain I only love it when you are there. Come to think of it that's true of every place & every time. When you aren't there I'm no place, just lost in time & space.

I more than love you, I'm not whole without you. You are life itself to me. When you are gone I'm waiting for you to return so I can start living again.

Happy Anniversary & thank you for 31 wonderful years.

I love you
Your Grateful Husband

I really do believe love can conquer all. I believe it can and should conquer your 'self'. Afterall, why are we here if not to love each other and bring happiness to one another? So on this Valentine's Day, rather than focusing on the loneliness that is often brought to light during the commercial celebration of relationships, focus on the possibility of great love. Focus on the love you do feel for whomever and appreciate the love and compassion that is felt for you by whomever. First, always love yourself.

"divine the secret self of another"

Week of February 11, 2010

CANCER: Happy Valentine Daze, Cancerian! After meditating about what advice would be most valuable for your love life in the coming months, I decided on this challenge from poet William Butler Yeats: “True love is a discipline in which each divines the secret self of the other and refuses to believe in the mere daily self.” In other words, create in your imagination a detailed picture of your loved ones at their best. Each day, make it a point to feel joy and gratitude for their most excellent beauty and power — as well as the beauty and power that are still ripening and will one day appear in full bloom.

Such a positive and hopeful way to love another: focusing on their potential. I truly believe in this because my heart views everything through rose colored glasses.

Love what the other person can't see in themselves. Love them for the person they don't even know they are.