"Some people will not tolerate such emotional honesty in communication. They would rather defend their dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others. Therefore, having rationalized their phoniness into nobility, they settle for superficial relationships."
"Dare to be true: nothing can need a lie: A fault, which needs it most, grows two thereby." George Herbert
"The cruelest lies are often told in silence." Adlai Stevenson
"The truth is the only thing worth having, and, in a civilized life, like ours, where so many risks are removed, facing it is almost the only courageous thing left to do." E.V. Lucas
We choose to say or don't say, show or don't show, do or don't do for our own reasons, which are typically self-serving. Out of fear, shame, pride, and simply self-preservation, we hold it in. I, myself, have become more introverted during this last year than I've ever been. I am not proud to admit that, but I'm just being honest with myself and the rest of the cyber world. Being emotionally open and often times brutally honest has always come easy to me. It's been my relief and therapy in a lot of ways. Being introverted is not in my character nor do I want it to be, but there's something that has kept me from expressing myself as I know I should. Change needs to be made here because every relationship is at stake when words and feelings go unshared.
My theory on trust is that trust can only be built through open communication. Offering information without being asked is the most effective way to build my trust, for instance. I'm sure every person is different, so I don't want to generalize it, but building trust takes a certain openness. Sharing thoughts and feelings and histories and dreams and whatever else is on your mind shows you want to be trusted. I know that some people are more open than others, but when building trust, I can't think of anything better or more effective than honesty.
Honesty to me is leaving nothing unsaid. Naturally, things will go unsaid or unshared, but it shouldn't be an intentional act. We often have a misconception that choosing not to do/say something is not an action at all. I disagree. Making a choice not to do/say is just that - a choice. It's a decision we make, whether in the forefront of our conscious or not. I don't believe in the theory that keeping something from a person protects them from the truth. Honesty is liberation. It liberates each of us from the burden that we carry and it liberates the unknowing allowing them to make decisions based on the facts. We can only make decisions using the information we are presented with. Therefore, present away because I'd like to make knowledgeable decisions. Wouldn't you?
Unspoken words create doubt, uncertainty, distrust, and hesitation. We all owe it to ourselves to self-preserve, but we also owe it to each other to be honest. What are we here for if not to make things a little easier for each other?
"The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be and when they're not, we cry."
"A half truth is a whole lie." Yiddish Proverb
"We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger." Tad Williams
"There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience." French Proverb
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