Friday through Monday and each one a FUNDAY!

Meet Josh. He's my dad's baby brother. Yes, that makes him my uncle and we've heard how "weird" it is that we're only about a year apart in age. Throughout school and still sometimes these days we have to say we're cousins because people just don't get it. I consider him my brother since we've always been so close, going on vacations together, going to school together, and so on. Anyway, he's making his maiden voyage to Denver this weekend! Yay! It only took him almost 3 years to visit! I would have thought all these snowy mountains would have brought him down a lot sooner, but he's finally bringing himself along with his board to the Rockies. Usually I stress about planning the whole weekend when I have visitors, but we have a fun-filled weekend all planned up!

               

His arrival this afternoon means I get to leave work early! Even better is that it's currently 69 degrees in the city where we're going to enjoy rooftop beers and dinner before heading to a show at the Marquis. Yes, 69 degrees in mid-March. We couldn't have hoped for a better day! Most of his visit will be spent in temperatures only slightly chillier, Breckenridge. We're heading up to the mountains first thing in the morning and spending the rest of the weekend snowboarding in Breckenridge. By the way, did you know that Breck has 155 trails, 30 lifts, a base elevation of 9,600 ft and a summit at 12,998 feet? Oh, and it has the highest chair lift in North America!

After an exhausting couple of days, I'm hoping we'll just pass out Sunday night before getting yummy brunch and sending him on his way back to Seattle. Surely he needs this getaway as much as I do! Who doesn't?!

Have a wonderful weekend out there!!! Keep Japan in your thoughts and prayers this weekend. Remember that loved ones are lost each and every day, so remember that tomorrow is never promised and to hold your loved ones tight! xoxo



Decisions, decisions...

I went from having no time to think to having too much time to think. I told myself that my unhappiness stemmed from being miserably busy. As things died down, I realized that wasn't entirely true. Sure, I was miserably busy but I was also miserable otherwise. It wasn't my sunny morning beach runs or the ridiculously cheap happy hours with friends. It wasn't warm days laying on a towel in the sand or the silhouettes of palm trees against the blue sky on distant hilltops. It was the loneliness and overwhelming pressure I felt when I opened up my Deloitte hp laptop. I didn't necessarily feel pressure from superiors, but from the loss of motivation and drive. My positive attitude toward my extremely demanding career had escaped me.

I had to reassure myself that I wasn't just focusing my doubts toward work and just missing the whole point of my unhappiness. I reached out and had buddy dinners, counselor lunches, and talked about the atmosphere of this location with colleagues. Based on what I was observing, I wasn't exactly surprised that many of them had similar opinions. Therefore, I sought the guidance of the superiors I trust (who just so happen to be in Denver). Regardless of any bias, I turned to who I trust - those who care for me and my future. After repeating my dilemma numerous times, I kept drawing the same conclusion. I made a call and confirmed my return to the Denver office.

I'm leaving the cons of negative working relationships, lack of drive, congestion, astronomical income tax, and the general nature of Never Never Land. Sadly though, I'm also leaving the pros of bodies of water, California burritos, mild/warm climate, beach runs, great friends, fun happy hours, and much more. While the lack of water and lengthy winters are cons of Denver, the Mile-High City is a stones throw away from the mountains and has over 300 days of sunshine a year. Colorado's full of extremely kindhearted people and unlimited outdoor activities. I have amazing relationships there including friendships and those of a working nature, not to mention my heart's most significant connection. The leadership in the Denver office motivates me to perform well and in return, I know they will help me accomplish my goals and explore my aspirations. Like I mentioned in my previous post, leaving Denver was difficult and now I know why. I took a lot of things for granted including those that brought me security and fulfillment. I followed my heart there in the first place and I left my heart there as I drove my life away. It has been my home and will continue to be just that...until further notice.

The sun has set on my experience here. With that, I say farewell to San Diego thankful for the time I did spend here. I have furthered my understanding of myself and what I truly value. I appreciate the friendships forged here and the lessons learned. Now I will say goodbye and leave the short time I spent here to my memories.

Another Summer Passes

As I sit in my 'new' apartment in San Diego for the first time since moving-in almost 2 weeks ago, I'm trying to reflect on the Summer that just passed. I'm struggling.

Since the beginning of June, I packed my life up and moved it from Denver to San Diego. I enjoyed every last second I got to spend in Colorado this summer , ran my first half marathon in Seattle over my 27th birthday weekend, and put my life in a moving truck. Leaving Colorado was much harder than I anticipated and I even had second thoughts. If I thought it were possible, I probably would have changed my mind and stayed in Denver. Instead, I kept telling myself that I needed a new start in a new place. Not allowing myself to go with gut, I convinced myself I didn't know any better and should follow through with my move to San Diego. I said goodbye and spent the 4th of July with my mom in Las Vegas where we parked the moving truck for the night. My generous and thoughtful friend let me stay with her while my life was packed up in a storage unit and I was searching for a new place to call home. I started working at the office here and was thrust into an intense audit right from the start. In the extremely small amount of time I had, I found a place to live. We issued the client's 10-K and I started to unpack. Unpacking came with intense emotions as pulling my life out of boxes and placing it on new shelves filled my with regret and a unwelcome permanence.

My new beginning in San Diego hasn't been easy and has me missing everything about Colorado. I had just settled into my life there and felt comfortable after almost a year of learning. I had good people around me and the great outdoors at my fingertips. As much as I tried to tell myself this move is what's best for me, I can't help but disagree now that I'm here. Again, I'm just able to sit down in my own space for the first time after 2 long months. Only after I'm able to settle and get into a routine here will I be able to truly evaluate my new life situation. As of now, all I feel is exhaustion, loneliness, and regret. My attempt to start over has left me rehashing the past, making it seem impossible to move forward. Rather, I've felt that each day I've been here has been Groundhog's Day and ultimately, a waste of my life. I know it will take time to be sure, but maybe I wasn't ready. Maybe this isn't my place. Maybe I should have listened to what I didn't know was my 'gut' before it was too late.

After struggling here for a couple of months, I knew a trip back home to Seattle would be a relief. I spent a long Labor Day weekend with family and friends. I had the honor of being a part of one of my very best friends' wedding day. I was surrounded by good people and great friends. It was a fun-filled wedding weekend and I had a great time. When I wasn't enjoying the wedding events, I was with my family. I missed them and it felt better than ever to spend every second I could with them. The weekend reminded me of all the things I want for my life and what kind of life I want to be a part of. It reiterated what I'm ready for and why I need my heart to heal so that it can be ready too. Needless to say, it was an emotional trip home.

Filled with confusion as to where I want to be, I will give San Diego the time I think is necessary before reevaluating the place I want to be. It may be Denver and it my be Seattle. I may be ready to move back home and surround myself with family or may want to move back to Denver and surround myself with the wonderful friends I made. I may actually get comfortable here, but regardless of the outcome, for now I'll hope the tears stop falling as frequently.

Muffin-top Capital of the United States...maybe...

First of all, for those of you who are unaware, muffin-top is a slang term used to describe "the phenomenon of overhanging flesh when it spills over the waistline of pants or skirt in a manner that resembles the top of a muffin spilling over its paper casing." It usually happens when an overweight person wears low-rise pants or belly shirts, but also happens when a thin person wears pants that just don't fit. Refer to the image below for reference:

Now that you know what a muffin-top is in the form I will be using it, I can tell you my story.


It was a semi-blistery Friday night in Denver where my sister and I attended a concert of the hip-hop variety. That's when I got thinkin'. Since living in Colorado, I haven't been out anywhere like this and definitely not out anywhere on Colfax. Let's just say the only time I ever get to experience any type of diversity is when I'm back home in Tacoma. I will still contend that nothing beats the Tacoma mall. Where else does a completely pimped out reverend dude gather up all of the rentable strollers? And big groups of teenagers walking around wearing Dora the Explorer backpacks that match their Air Force Ones? We can agree that there are shootings in the parking lots of many malls, but I've never been to a mall that beats out the pinnacle shopping haven in Tacoma. Now being from Tacoma, I obviously embrace diversity and feel it's a breath of fresh air after my time in Orange County, Newport, RI, the outskirts of Boulder, CO, and the plentiful locations in-between. I can't say the people-watching has been that great lately. Going back home and taking the nephew to Chuck E. Cheese's on 48th definitely brings that back-home feeling that I don't get when I'm at the one down the street from where I live now. So you get my drift, right? I finally got to experience the diversity of Denver. Loved every second of that comfortable old feeling, but had to make an observation.


An end to the similarities between my concert in Denver and a concert of the same sort in Tacoma is this...muffin-tops. Maybe I'm bias but there aren't nearly as many girls/women that can't buy a decent fitting pair of pants in Tacoma (maybe it's the obsession with working out and doing drugs?). I'm going to have to say it was completely absurd and extremely amusing being a fly on the wall at this concert. We didn't notice until we were sitting on the counter in the bathroom between artists. Even better was that it was the bathroom right behind stage and next to the crowd of wanna-be groupies anxiously waiting for their chance to show off their home-grown belly inner-tubes to whichever dude would pay attention. Let me tell you what, there was no better people-watching location in the world at that very moment. Not one female that walked into that bathroom was wearing an article of clothing that fit. Some were very good at making it seem like it though, wrapping one of those tacky wide belts around her waste to hide whatever was under there. Yikes. There were tight leggings with see-through tops exposing Michelin Man-esque midsections. There were women wearing jeans that couldn't have possibly belonged to them, but hopefully to their younger sisters. It was seriously muffin-topville. I didn't have any business being there wearing a lump-less dress and neither did Jaclyn who was actually in jeans...that fit. Is that a little snobby of me? Sure, but at the same time...I spend a lot of money on my jeans so I make damn sure those babies fit. Also a stuck-up thing to say but I'm just making observations here, not judgments.


Following the ladies who couldn't even walk in their stilettos (also a damn shame), we returned to the concert with a newfound appreciation for girl-watching in Denver. Seeking another mini break from the shoulder-to-shoulder, obnoxiously young crowd, we found a nice spot on the steps. Ironically, it just happened to be next to some back stage/below the venue groupie entrance. How could we get so lucky?This time, though, the artists were there and when they weren't trying to peek at my phone while I was uploading pics of muffin-tops to Facebook, they were being courted by the sea of them. Lucky guys. There was never any shortage of amusement and I enjoyed every minute of it. Check out this picture, for instance...
All red denim outfit, flared jeans too small and too short, halter top in all its glory. What's being exposed at the center? A muffin-top for the world to see. My guess is that she didn't need that belt, but she thought it "added" to the outfit.


The bottom line in this story is that of all the places I've been in this country (a lot), Denver so far is the Muffin-top Capital of the United States. You take the crown, Mile High City. Keep buying those pants a few sizes too small and I'll be there to take it all in, for a few more months at least.


Tacoma, keep staying thin, even if that means keeping up the endless hours on the elliptical paired with your cigarette and coke habits. Would you rather be cokehead party girls or female Pillsbury dough boys? Tough call.



Need an example? Look ----->