From zombie to ray of sunshine? Not so fast...

For the week of December 10, The Boulder Weekly's genius astrologer or whatever you call them has written the following about myself and other cancers: "So how are you doing with your year-long resurrection project, Cancerian? Have you been taking care of the finishing touches these past few weeks? If not, do so soon. It’s high time for you to officially and definitively rise from the dead. Your wandering in the underworld is at an end. Your mourning for broken dreams should be complete. In January, the age of exploration will begin; make sure your reborn spunk is ready for action by then."

How's that for a kick in the ass? Stop your bitching, you whiny, dark and twisty broad, you. As a nice follow up to last week's, I guess I'm supposed be getting up now and getting up for good. This horoscope is also pretty bad ass like the last one because it comes at a time when I think I might be doing just that, which is another reason why these things are blowing my mind.

Yes, it is true that I've been mourning broken dreams for about a year now. I've absolutely been mourning the loss of something so dear to my heart that I never thought I'd recover. I've gone through denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and now I think I might be at the beginning of acceptance. I still feel all of the other stages rising up from time to time, but I can't resist the inevitable. I can no longer deny myself the opportunity to make peace. I'd like to think that throughout this process I was in and out of the underworld, though, rather than having been dead the entire time, but maybe that's just my ego giving itself a boost.

They also say that a cancer can hold a grudge for a lifetime. Knowing myself all too well, I can confirm this to be true. I'm afraid I don't have the tools I need to ultimately make peace. I've been so driven by the anger that comes from betrayal and disappointment that it's just easier for me to hold a grudge. Maybe I need to dive into some self-help books about acceptance, right?

On a positive note, what do you think this whole "age of exploration" could mean? I'm anxiously waiting for what's next and patiently hoping that all that spunk will be reborn sooner than later. I know it's in there brewing. Maybe the exploration pertains to self-realization and a new found confidence in myself that will open doors for new opportunities and new outlooks on life. Let's hope. With the death of all of those plans for the future, the security and comfort, comes the birth of a completely unknown world without any plans, security, or comfort. That's just plain scary. I guess I might just have to trade my cynicism for a positive outlook more often. Aren't those relentlessly positive people so annoying, though?

I feel a transformation is in the works. Maybe not to the extent of this happy little worker bee to the left, but stay tuned.