Vast Possibilities

I'm starting to think this may be a weekly staple of my blog. That is, as long as these horoscopes that are so geniusly interpreted are also as palpably applicable and inspiring as they have been in recent weeks. So again, thank you Rob Brezny of The Boulder Weekly for giving me yet another amazing horoscope to contemplate for this week of February 18, 2010.

"“Jane Austen was the spinster daughter of a clergyman who led an uneventful life,” wrote Geoffrey Wheatcroft in The Guardian. “She just happened to write half a dozen flawless masterpieces, which came perfectly formed, not from experience but from imagination.” Most of us don’t have anything close to the inconceivably potent imagination that Austen possessed. But I believe 2010 will be a year when you can access at least a portion of that wondrous capacity. You’ll be able to fantasize about vast possibilities in exquisite detail. You will have great skill at smashing your way free of limiting expectations through the power of your expansive vision. And the coming weeks will be a time when it should all kick into high gear."

Well said! I don't believe I'll find it too difficult to dive back into my imagination again. I can sense it's coming back to me. My capacity to fantasize about all sorts of possibilities is especially intense. So here's to the coming weeks! I can tell they're going to be good ones!

(I'll ignore the mention of Jane Austen being a 'spinster' who never married.)

"Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours"

In recognition of the holiday that celebrates love and compassion, the dreamer in my heart wants to share some beautiful expressions of love and compassion. Rather than believing that Valentine's Day is a day for couples to say "I love you" in a commercial way, I feel that it's a day for all to recognize and be aware of love as the most powerful feeling there is. Recognize the emotions related to affection, attachment, interpersonal attraction, and a deep feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Be aware of romantic love as well as platonic and familial love.

"There is no remedy for love but to love more." Henry David Thoreau

I am a deep and emotional thinker who dreams of great love. Naturally, I fear the pain of repeated heartbreak, but I do believe in love at all costs even if the cost is the pain required to learn and gain strength. I don't believe in a life without the desire to feel and express love. We can't control our emotions and the things life brings our way. Choosing not to embrace those emotions and gifts is a disservice to ourselves and others. Life is about relationships and interaction. Don't let fear keep you from loving. Be free to love. Give in to love.

Coldplay "Parachutes"

In a haze, a stormy haze

I'll be 'round, I'll be loving you always

Always

Here I am and I'll take my time

Here I am and I'll wait in line

Always, always

Napoleon Bonaparte to Josephine De Beauharnais - Paris - December 1795:

I wake filled with thoughts of you. Your portrait and the intoxicating evening which we spent yesterday have left my senses in turmoil.

Sweet incomparable Josephine, what a strange effect you have on my heart!
Are you angry?
Do I see you looking sad? Are you worried? ...
My soul aches with sorrow, and there can be no rest for your lover; but is there still more in store for me when, yielding to the profound feelings which overwhelm me, I draw from your lips, from your heart a love which consumes me with fire? Ah! it was last night that I fully realized how false an image of you your portrait gives!

You are leaving at noon; I shall see you in three hours. Until then, mio dolce amor, a thousand kisses; but give me none in return, for they set my blood on fire.
Bonaparte

Neil Young "Like A Hurricane"

You are like a hurricane

There's a calm in your eye

And I'm getting blown away

To somewhere safer

Where the feeling stays

I want to love you

but I'm getting blown away.

I am just a dreamer

but you are just a dream.

Mark Twain to his future wife, Olivia Langdon - May 12, 1869:

Out of the depths of my happy heart wells a great tide of love and prayer for this priceless treasure that is confided to my life-long keeping.

You cannot see its intangible waves as they flow towards you, darling, but in these lines you will hear, as it were, the distant beating of the surf.

Persian icon of passion and love over seven centuries ago, wrote:

The children of Adam are limbs of one body

Having been created of one essence.

When the calamity of time afflicts one limb

The other limbs cannot remain at rest.

If you have no sympathy for the troubles of others

You are not worthy to be called by the name of "man."

"Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own"

Robert A. Heinlein

John Keats to Fanny Brawne - March 1820:

I cannot exist without you - I am forgetful of every thing but seeing you again - my life seems to stop there - I see no further. You have absorb'd me. I have a sensation at the present moment as though I were dissolving

....I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for religion - I have shudder'd at it - I shudder no more - I could bemartyr'd for my religion - love is my religion - I could die for that - I could die for you. My creed is love and you are its only tenet - you have ravish'd me away by a power I cannot resist.

Psychologist Robert Sternberg's trianglular theory of love argues three components: intimacy, commitment, and passion. Intimacy is the sharing of confidences and details of personal lives and is shown in friendships and romantic love. Commitment is the expectation that the relationship is permanet. Passion and sexual attraction are shown in romantic love as well as infatuation.

Ronald Reagan to Nancy Reagan - Aboard Air Force One - March 4, 1983:

Dear First Lady

I know tradition has it that on this morning I place cards Happy Anniversary cards on your breakfast tray. But things are somewhat mixed up. I substituted a gift & delivered it a few weeks ago.

Still this is the day, the day that marks 31 years of such happiness as comes to few men. I told you once that it was like an adolescent's dream of what marriage should be like. That hasn't changed.

You know I love the ranch but these last two days made it plain I only love it when you are there. Come to think of it that's true of every place & every time. When you aren't there I'm no place, just lost in time & space.

I more than love you, I'm not whole without you. You are life itself to me. When you are gone I'm waiting for you to return so I can start living again.

Happy Anniversary & thank you for 31 wonderful years.

I love you
Your Grateful Husband

I really do believe love can conquer all. I believe it can and should conquer your 'self'. Afterall, why are we here if not to love each other and bring happiness to one another? So on this Valentine's Day, rather than focusing on the loneliness that is often brought to light during the commercial celebration of relationships, focus on the possibility of great love. Focus on the love you do feel for whomever and appreciate the love and compassion that is felt for you by whomever. First, always love yourself.

"divine the secret self of another"

Week of February 11, 2010

CANCER: Happy Valentine Daze, Cancerian! After meditating about what advice would be most valuable for your love life in the coming months, I decided on this challenge from poet William Butler Yeats: “True love is a discipline in which each divines the secret self of the other and refuses to believe in the mere daily self.” In other words, create in your imagination a detailed picture of your loved ones at their best. Each day, make it a point to feel joy and gratitude for their most excellent beauty and power — as well as the beauty and power that are still ripening and will one day appear in full bloom.

Such a positive and hopeful way to love another: focusing on their potential. I truly believe in this because my heart views everything through rose colored glasses.

Love what the other person can't see in themselves. Love them for the person they don't even know they are.

ONLY THE CONCEALED WORD IS DANGEROUS

"Some people will not tolerate such emotional honesty in communication. They would rather defend their dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others. Therefore, having rationalized their phoniness into nobility, they settle for superficial relationships."

"Dare to be true: nothing can need a lie: A fault, which needs it most, grows two thereby." George Herbert

"The cruelest lies are often told in silence." Adlai Stevenson

"The truth is the only thing worth having, and, in a civilized life, like ours, where so many risks are removed, facing it is almost the only courageous thing left to do." E.V. Lucas

We choose to say or don't say, show or don't show, do or don't do for our own reasons, which are typically self-serving. Out of fear, shame, pride, and simply self-preservation, we hold it in. I, myself, have become more introverted during this last year than I've ever been. I am not proud to admit that, but I'm just being honest with myself and the rest of the cyber world. Being emotionally open and often times brutally honest has always come easy to me. It's been my relief and therapy in a lot of ways. Being introverted is not in my character nor do I want it to be, but there's something that has kept me from expressing myself as I know I should. Change needs to be made here because every relationship is at stake when words and feelings go unshared.

My theory on trust is that trust can only be built through open communication. Offering information without being asked is the most effective way to build my trust, for instance. I'm sure every person is different, so I don't want to generalize it, but building trust takes a certain openness. Sharing thoughts and feelings and histories and dreams and whatever else is on your mind shows you want to be trusted. I know that some people are more open than others, but when building trust, I can't think of anything better or more effective than honesty.

Honesty to me is leaving nothing unsaid. Naturally, things will go unsaid or unshared, but it shouldn't be an intentional act. We often have a misconception that choosing not to do/say something is not an action at all. I disagree. Making a choice not to do/say is just that - a choice. It's a decision we make, whether in the forefront of our conscious or not. I don't believe in the theory that keeping something from a person protects them from the truth. Honesty is liberation. It liberates each of us from the burden that we carry and it liberates the unknowing allowing them to make decisions based on the facts. We can only make decisions using the information we are presented with. Therefore, present away because I'd like to make knowledgeable decisions. Wouldn't you?

Unspoken words create doubt, uncertainty, distrust, and hesitation. We all owe it to ourselves to self-preserve, but we also owe it to each other to be honest. What are we here for if not to make things a little easier for each other?

"The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be and when they're not, we cry."

"A half truth is a whole lie." Yiddish Proverb

"We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger." Tad Williams

"There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience." French Proverb

An Ode to R. Kelly

All jokes aside, the man has been extremely successful and I do own probably 90% or more of his songs. He's had some great songs, which I belt out while showering during one of my "I think I'll go with R. Kelly" days. All that being said, some of his lyrics are so ridiculous that I have to point them out. I'm sure everybody's aware of them, but I'm going to list some of them to make them more obvious. I wonder if he knows how silly they are. I wonder if he did it on purpose knowing millions would be singing his songs out loud including some of the silliest things I've ever heard. I wonder if he laughs. Then again, after "Trapped in the Closet", maybe he's been dead serious all along. That should make us laugh. Here goes...

Feelin On Ya Booty

~ The title should make us laugh in and of itself

~ "your hair weave's lookin kinda pretty" -- if it's only kinda pretty R, walk away

All I Really Want

~ "to whom it may concern" -- is he writing a letter?

~ "hold your pillow tight cause I wanna do it again" -- is he warning me? sounds scary

Bump n' Grind

~ "i don't see nothin wrong with a lil bump n' grind" -- you not having a problem with it isn't a very convincing argument for having sex with you. fyi.

Dancing With A Rich Man

~ Again with the title, dude...

~ "passionate love with you, hearing you "oui oui"" -- apparently you have to speak french to dance with a rich man

Don't Put Me Out

~ "I'm tired of banging on this door. The neighbors say I'm loud" -- take a hint

Don't You Say No

~ or what? -- also, this song has way too many to list...like the whole song.

~ "Who's gonna front the bill? Me" -- so I guess I can't say no because you bought my cheesecake

~ "Now it's time to please me" -- he's getting a bit scary, don't you think?

~ "Who gon' be that thug? Me" -- well, in that case...

~ "I ain't tryin' to spend no cash if you ain't spendin' that ass. No." -- now you're just getting fiesty, R

Down Low Double Life

~ "1, 2, equals us" -- great way to start the song. mini math lessons from R.

~ "woke me up pourin' hot grits and all kinda shit on me" -- those are some crazy broads you got mixed up with, R

Etcetera

~ "Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo" -- this verse is missing the "etc" at the end

~ "Put on some clothes and let's go to the IHOP, baby" -- you really know what turns me on, R

~ "No matter how good the food may taste, I'm still thinking about your body" -- is that why you want me to eat all this syrup?

Fiesta

~ "Got Friday on a DVD. She's a baller and I'm a baller. Wha What?" -- Damn you got a DVD?! I wish i could be a baller like that

Get Up On A Room

~ "throw your underwear on the wall" -- is he hoping they stick? eeww.

~ "no room service baby cause you gon be the feast" -- rawr

Ghetto Queen

~ "nothin in your oven. baby feed me now" -- do it girl. don't test him. he's about to spank the hell out of you and make you tell him whose it is.

The Greatest Sex

~ "inside of your walls there will dwell a Capricorn (who will feast your body all night)" -- uuuuhh that doesn't sound appealing. just sayin.

Half on a Baby

~ "like a hotel room, i'm checkin into you"

~ "i'm diggin like a shovel, all the things you do"

~ "like a baseball field, wanna hit a home run" -- all this metaphorical genius!

~ "from my toes up to my knee caps" -- oh good...those knee caps really get me goin...

I Like The Crotch On You

~ enough said?

~ "tell me who's your man. we will have a talk with him." -- I'm sure that'll go well.

Ignition

~ "please let me put my key in your ignition baby" -- I think your key is to a different car.

~ Again, this is another one where the whole song applies.

Just Like That

~ "like a favorite scene in a big movie" -- wow, i'm impressed now.

~ "like kissing you in an all white tux" -- you like the ladies in white tuxes huh? you're a freak R

~ "like lost inside of a mascarade" -- is that a good thing?

One Me

~ "I'm gonna take your hand, let you feel these ribs" -- you'll let me feel your rib bones? yay! I must be real special.

~ "I'm a winner in bed" -- do you have a trophy case? some medals? a certificate?

R&B Thug

~ "I'll make you say toot toot, beep beep" -- please don't

Sex Weed

~ "sex give me the munchies and now I wanna eat it up" -- no snacks in the bed

~ "it's like a dime bag of dro" -- that's all?? not impressed.

Slow Wind

~ "let's get together and mix cultures" -- baaahahahaha

Strip For You

~ "Tonight I'm gonna pull a switcheroo" -- that sounds sexy

~ "Now I'm gon' stop and get some gas my baby" -- thanks for letting me know

I could obviously go on forever, but that would require me to list nearly every song in which R. Kelly displays his lyrical genius. I do love him and I enjoy grooving to his songs from time to time, but he definitely comes off as a predator at times. Sorry R, but it's true. I'd also have to say that his advice isn't always the best to follow. I don't think shaking it until it breaks is a good idea. I still love you dude. So, I will leave you with an example of his art.

Astrology...who would have thought?

First and foremost, I am in love with the writer of the horoscopes for the Boulder Weekly. The incorporation of poems, books, movies, etc. into advice for future behavior based on the relative position of planets and the signs in the zodiac? How could you not appreciate that?

CANCER for the week of February 4, 2010:
"I wonder if you can you handle this much healing intensity, Cancerian. The possibilities for transforming difficult parts of your life are substantial. I’ll name a few ways this could play out: 1. A confusing riddle may be partially solved through a semi-divine intervention. 2. A sore spot could be soothed thanks to the power of your curiosity. 3. An ignorance that has caused you pain may be illuminated, allowing you to suffer less. 4. If you can summon the capacity to generously tolerate uncertainty, you may find and rehabilitate an orphaned part of your life. I’m not saying for sure that any of this stuff will happen, but the odds are favorable that at least one will."

Again, Rob Brezsny, you are genius or a psychic or a really good reader of astrological diagrams. I thank you for your expertise. It would be creepy to date you because you'd know more about my life than I do, but I will enjoy what you have to say on a weekly basis.

Confusing riddles, sore spots, ignorance and suffering....wow. The thing that really grabs ahold of me and shakes me is my lack of "capacity to generously tolerate uncertainty". That's the one I want to "happen". Please Rob...please let me have #4. Tell the crab in the stars that Jasmine Layton really needs to learn how to tolerate uncertainty if anything at all. Send me to rehab for my incapacity. I'm ready. I'll check myself in. There's no need to stage an intervention or fly me to Utah. I know I need to come to terms with the uncertainty I'm terrified of and work to get over that fear.

Uncertainty has caused an enormous amount of angst in my young life. I admit that I do struggle with doubt as part of my uncertainty, but I think the most prominent thing is all that I don't know. Everything I don't know including what others are thinking or feeling honestly kills me. In recent years, my lack of information drove me up the wall. Right now, though, it's my uncertain future. The freedom, which is also a burden if you ask me, to make decisions for yourself by yourself is often thought of in a positive way. I'm finding it to be much more difficult and cumbersome than liberating and exciting. Again, I'm an over-analyzer, so when I have to make significant decisions for my future completely on my own, it's quite the back and forth, yes then no, figure out all the possible outcomes type of process. I'm sure getting used to having no set-in-stone plans/possibilities for the future will happen eventually and I'll move through life and take what comes and run with it. I'm working on it. First, I need to learn how to "tolerate uncertainty". I don't have to love it and I know I never will, but I'm going to do my best to tolerate it.

Bring on the "healing intensity" stars! I don't want to orphan any more parts of my life. That just sounds wrong.

Why do I want you to know how I feel?

"You can't shake hands with a clenched fist."

- Indira Gandhi

India's only female prime minister (assassinated in 1984)